-BOO! BOO WHO!?-

I thought my mother was the only person willing to dress up as “Air Sare” for Halloween. Apparently, I am wrong.

Holy hell, Rachael, you are quite amazing. You even remembered the wrist tape. Impressive. You win my halloween costume contest.

The proof is in...

-HOOK, LINE, and SINKER-

If someone you hardly know comes up to you in a bar and says, “You know, I had plans for us to make-out this summer”, you’d probably throw-up in your mouth a little bit.

I often times think back to a drunken night in May when Darci first approached me with this pick-up line, and I wonder what I could have been thinking by giving her the time of day. Actually, I wonder what she was thinking, in general. But it’s been 6 months now. And she still flirts with me like I’m her 7th grade crush. And she still practices her dreadful pick-up lines on me. She even still plans times for us to make-out.

Just today at lunch I showed her my chewed-up chicken teriyaki 6 times. It didn’t even phase her. Sometimes when we’re in bed at night I’ll let out tooters and pull the covers over her head. She just laughs and rolls her eyes at me. In the mornings I wake her up by opening the blinds so the light shines on her face. She just gives me a sleepy-head glare and rolls over. I get the biggest kick out being such a little turd, and for some reason she still loves me.

I’ve never done anything to deserve such a wonderful person, but whatever I’m doing now is working. You guys got anymore ideas for things I can do to keep her coming back for more? I can only toot and show my food so often.

-JUST DEALING-

I’ve dealt with loss a lot in the past year. And you’d think it’d get easier with the more practice you get. But I’m learning every day that that’s not the case. There’s something unique and special about every experience we have in life that makes it different from the next or last. So dealing with things the same way as you did the previous…it doesn’t work. I’ve lost a grandfather, naturally…two of my closest cousins, tragically…a college teammate, tragically…my boss’s wife, tragically…and most recently, my girlfriend’s dog, tragically. And I’m starting to realize a couple things about myself that don’t really help me in the “coping” phase of all this.

I think I can deal with death. I made my peace when my grandfather died. It took time, but I did it. My hang-up is that I don’t know how to deal with tragedy. I understand that my Pappaw (grandfather) lost a battle to cancer. I get that. I don’t understand why my 21 year-old cousin would die in a car wreck as the designated driver. I don’t understand why my other cousin can take 2 years to beat a drug addiction, and relapse just one time and not survive it. I struggle to understand why an only-child/full-of-life Christian/proven college athlete/influential middle school teacher would take her own life on a Sunday morning leaving herself to be found by her own parents as they return from church. I don’t get that shit. Can anyone?

I don’t understand why at a time when Darci is struggling with one of the toughest times of her brother being sick…that things have to go from bad to worse. I won’t get into the details here, so to make a long story story short, Slater died on Thursday night. He got hit by a car hauling ass in my neighborhood. We buried him behind my house this morning. And like all other tragedies in my life, I don’t know how to deal.

More so than dealing with my own emotion of seeing a pet that I love die in front of my face, I don’t know how to handle telling and seeing the person I love and care for so much hurt so bad over something I could have and should have prevented. I don’t get it. I hurt for me. But I hurt for Darci so much. And all I want is to make her feel better.

I loved Slater. He was a nutty. And he had some crazy doggy-gas. But he was sweetest cuddler and a damn good kisser. I’ll miss him like no other. Darci will miss him x 10. Tanner already misses him.

I’ve never had to do this before, and I hate it.

-CONVERSATION: CULLEN'S COLONY-

cullpool: I’m thinking about pillaging a neighborhood in Austin, so that I can take over and call it my own state...What you think?
cullpool: I watched "troy" last week, so I think I know how to do it.
Air10143: hmmmm
Air10143: ok
Air10143: I support it
cullpool: would you like to reserve a spot in the colony?
Air10143: I have my own spot and own colony honey
cullpool: I don’t need an attitude like that in my city-state, anyhow.
just thought it would be nice...
cullpool: some friends of mine once said we should make a gay town..
have a gay grocery store, bank, etc... and then I thought.... I don’t much care for lesbians... so not such a good idea
haha
just joking.
Air10143: me either
cullpool: I particularly don’t like how every lesbian knows each other
Air10143: There are a lot of straight people who know each other also. You just don’t pay attention to it b/c it’s normal.
Air10143: Black people are like lesbians...discriminated against, so they stick together. That’s why you think that, I think.
cullpool: no way...I understand the whole "hanging with a crowd that you are comfortable with"...I do that
Air10143: well what is it then
cullpool: but I don’t like that most all of them are connected through people that they have all slept with
Air10143: that's because there are fewer to pick from
cullpool: didn’t mean to offend you...just I am a private person...and people that I have never even met ask me shit that they have heard about...
Air10143: You didn’t offend me at all. I know what you are saying...I’m just trying to explain why it works like that.
Air10143: then you should be more private
cullpool: I am the most private person you will meet when it comes to my personal life
Air10143: Well, if people you don’t know are coming up to you talking about it...then something ain’t so private, regardless of what you may think.
cullpool: other people talk. doesn’t mean I ever told them a word or anyone for that matter
Air10143: You can’t uphold privacy on your own. It depends on the people you surround yourself with and what they say too. Writing a blog about being around Darci and Alisha for a whole weekend...What does that say about you? What will people draw from that about you?
cullpool: I don’t care if people know who I am, or who I hang out with.. I think you misunderstand me
Air10143: what are you saying then?
cullpool: about people I date, etc
Air10143: That they talk?
cullpool: outside people talk
Air10143: You may not believe me, but straight people do that too.
cullpool: hahah
cullpool: the worlds are very different... I have lived in both of them.
Air10143: I think it just feels intensified as a lesbian, because your life is already dramatic because of your sexuality. Nature of the beast, you know?
cullpool: yeah, I understand
Air10143: I had my most dramatic, gossip-laden relationship with a guy, so I know that shit too. One of my teammates fucked a guy that I almost ended up getting engaged to. When that happened...I couldn’t go anywhere without someone knowing or whispering about it...it’s everywhere.
cullpool: I don’t disagree
cullpool: you really are making me eat my words
cullpool: wow
Air10143: No, I’m not trying to be a bitch about it, but just trying to get across that your colony will have issues no matter who lives there. That’s all.

-RECONSIDER THAT DIPPING SAUCE-

Got-damn. I went out for sushi the other night and I kindly asked my waiter for a certain side of dipping sauce for my favorite roll. “Sure, no problem”, he replied.

Great, thanks.

Some 30 minutes later I received the bill...

Rainbow roll-$11...Kyoto roll-$12...Edamame-$4.50...2 oz. Side Sauce-$2.

“Are you kidding? 2 dollars for a fucking side of sauce?!” I thought to myself...

“Are you kidding? 2 dollars for a fucking side of sauce?!” I said aloud...

You know, you can get a 2 liter of coke for 99-cents. A 24 oz. can of beer will run you $1.89 at most convenient stores. Chips and salsa are free at most fine Mexican food establishments. And you wanna charge me $2 for a damn 2 oz. side of dipping sauce?

That’s coming out of your tip, buddy. You’re messing with the wrong person.

-FUNKY COLD MEDINA-

You know how if you are really thirsty you can just guzzle cold water, no problem. It feels good right? Quenches your thirst and shit. But holy damn...if you put a piece of spearmint gum in your mouth, and then try and drink cold water...you better watch out. That shit will freeze your mouth off. If you’ve never done it, I don’t recommend trying it. It kinda gives you that same painful sensation like when you eat a big glob of wasabi, or a whole jalapeno pepper. But drinking more water only makes it worse. You just have to deal with the pain until it goes away. Tricky gum maker bastards.

-HAVE YOU SEEN HER?-

My apologies to the Blogger universe as I’ve been M.I.A. lately. I’m planning an expected return to the fun side of the world very soon. Until then. I work. I pay bills. I work some more.

All my love.